Friday, December 22, 2017

MY GIFT...WITH LOVE


"Please do not annoy me these next two days...
                                             because if you do I will give your number
                                       to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's Hotline!"

Aw, Santa wouldn't do that in a million years...he's the nicest.  He just procrastinated about the tune-up for his sleigh...he's a do-it-yourself sort of Santa.  Not to worry, he'll arrive in the nick of time.

Shouldn't look too far ahead I know but I've thought quite a bit about the year ahead...2018.  Lots of possibilities; some positive, some negative.  

I had no specific goals; just thoughts (yeah, I think a lot)...but I might set some goals for 2018...see what happens.  In the past posts I've written so many times how I was going to change...well most of those 'going's to' didn't take root and died from lack of personal care on my part.  

Michael's Parkinson's is worsening much quicker than I had thought or even imagined.  Thus, he's going to require more of me because I am his memory, his almost everything.  Things are not easy now and I know things will continue requiring more and more.  

The main thing I've problems with is PATIENCE.  Oh my, that's a slippery thing; I have all these super intentions and pow!  Out they go and my temper steps into high gear...now that is sad, sad.

Okay, here's the skinny; being realistic I'd best focus on PATIENCE and make that my number one goal for the year.  If it works and I pass the many surprise tests' then I can move on.  That one is my number one enemy and I've simply got to master it.

My love for Michael is way up there; he deserves my all and I am doing my best to give it.  I'll fall flat on my face probably more than much but that's okay...God will lift me.  He does that well.

Remember, Vasca...remember.
Michael is your husband; he has Parkinson's.
Your happiness relies greatly on that acceptance and the realization that your expectations will be turned upside down and then some.
It's about being comfortable, functioning on a day to day basis... 
while being a loving, patient, pearl of great price every step of the way
because you know...oh how you know...
God expects that of you and He knows your heart and loves you!

My great love, coupled with the above memorization put into action is what I'm giving Michael this Christmas...no more coal for him...he deserves the best.
I know, in return, he gives me his great love...even when he cannot remember it.

"Please, Dear God, bless us all with loving hearts every day of our lives...
and thank you so much for all the lovely, wonderful blessings you've already given and more!
You have my heart...In Your Son's Sweet and Blessed Name, Amen."

Oh, something for your stocking"Expectancy is the atmosphere for miracles."  Edwin Louis Cole

Merry Christmas...from my heart...to yours!  Vasca

Cartoon by Dennis Cox ... Permission to publish purchased.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

GIFTING




For the past couple of years around Christmas time I've posted something about a 'Bucket List'.  I was tempted to do it again this year but decided you were familiar enough with those thoughts; time to move on a bit.  Still along that same train of thought...here's another look at 'the list'.

My life has changed so much; reality has moved in and I'm thankful for that.  I had denied reality and you've read before what Michael has always told me.  "Vasca, to deny reality is a temporary form of insanity."  And he's absolutely correct ~ I am facing reality and it isn't always pleasant...but it's very real...my 'new normal'...that's it.  

Got my game face on, game life going and here it is...just a few weeks 'til my favorite time of the year...Christmas.  I determined this was going to be a wonderful, happy one for M and so far it's working out well...even with the pot holes and snags!  Wouldn't you know it?      

Thanksgiving brings almost everyone to their knees with thankfulness; Christmas comes and there's such a special feeling in the air...how could I be anything but happy and warm...you know the feeling, right?  In some circumstances it takes a lot of effort/work but it's more than worth it.  I think that's what has and continues taking place in my life.  

"The best thing to give to your enemy is Forgiveness;
To an opponent, Tolerance;
To a friend, Your Heart;
To your child, A Good Example;
To a father, Deference;
To your mother, Conduct That Will Make Her Proud of You;
To yourself, Respect;
To all men, Charity."
Benjamin Franklin
Remembering way back now...when I was a little girl...Christmas was very simple.  Fresh fruit and nuts plus candy was in our stockings and one big gift from Santa.  I got baby dolls...Effanbee dolls.  I surprised myself by remembering the name and you know they're still around.                                  Oh Christmas was so wonderful.  
Surely there were angry people ranting around but I don't recall ever noticing any.  Now they're a constant roar in society...everyone is against something.  Why can't people just be content, happy, loving?  Wouldn't that be something?
I find smiles and showing interest in others usually brings out their good side...you find that?  
 I like what Thomas Monson wrote:The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of 
love and of generosity and of goodness. It illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world's busy life and become more interested in people than in things.

My grocery delivery man came this morning and I remembered his name, 'Mohammed', and welcomed him.  He and I had a chat a couple of weeks ago...there are many foreigners who make deliveries to our home.  I always ask where they're from and he told me he's from Iraq..been here less than ten years.  After I told him he was the first Iraqi I had ever met he opened up.  
Today he asked how I was doing and I told him we'd slept late.  He said he'd been up since 1 a.m and had been crying.  He proceeded to tell me he and his girlfriend broke up last night and he told me repeatedly she was a very, very nice girl...a good girl.  He even texted her mother and talked to her.  I told him I'd pray for them; he said he'd appreciate that.  He said he was going to go talk to her but didn't know what else to do.  I advised him to take her flowers (he said she loved flowers) and see what happened.  He said he'd keep me posted...he's nice.
That's what you do...you show people you're interested in them and their lives.  People need that...we all need that.  Time and interest.
That's what I do...I'm honestly interested in people and want to know what's taking place in their lives.  It's amazing what I learn by listening...just simply listening.  Whether they know it or not I pray for them...they are on my heart.
For Christmas I'm working on these gifts:ForgivenessToleranceBeing a good exampleShowing DeferenceRespectCharityAn Open Heart These are just a few things I am cultivating for my new 'normal'.
"Dear God, I pray the love and goodness that seems to be in the air right now will remain in our hearts every day...I am doing my best to see it stays that way in my life.  I pray this in your son's name, Amen."
From my  heart...to yours, Vasca 



                                   

Thursday, October 26, 2017



"Love recognizes no barriers.
It jumps hurdles.
Leaps fences.
Penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope."
Maya Angelou


Love recognizes no barriers:  Sixty-five years ago I looked at M and promised to love him no matter what.
  
Oh so happy whatever...whenever!  

It jumps hurdles: Career changes galore in our first few years; with little but enough.  Four babies in less than five years...no health insurance, no benefits.  Two surgeries for me.

Oh so happy whatever...whenever! 

Leaps fences: Military wife/military life w/our four fine sons; wars, job cuts.  

Oh so happy whatever...whenever!

Penetrates walls:  This is perhaps the most difficult part of our 65 years; the most difficult part of my entire life...all eighty-seven years.  Why is this part the most difficult when always I've thought these would be some of the best?  I find myself no longer able to penetrate the wall that is being built within Michael's body and mind.  For much of the time it is impenetrable.  Parkinson's seems to be the villain in his life...it is difficult to deal with.

Oh so happy whatever...whenever!  Coupled w/a tinge of sadness.

We will arrive at the destination full of hope:  Because we are God's children and He is in charge...no doubt about it. 

Oh so happy whatever...whenever 

********************************************

October is closing shop in a few days; November is ready to step in and December is busily readying itself for the season many are looking forward to...'specially children.  Remember?

Thanksgiving has us looking at our blessings and there are more than many, right?

I tend to forget how blest I truly am...too busy having my private pity party.

Oops...I forgot that God is right there...watching and busy! 

Business like this:  M and I live in a senior retirement complex...on a corner and our house number is the same number as the retirement complex apartment/administration building...but the street name is different.

Initially it was quite irritating to have food deliveries...smells delicious but we've already eaten...moving vans...please we don't want to move...home health personnel...we'll notify you if we need one...repairmen...we'll call if something breaks...package deliveries...no thank you, didn't order that.  Sometimes 3-4 times per week there's someone who is sure this is the place.  Not, not.  Don't these people have directions on their cell phones?  Can't they read??? 

After some months though it became pretty neat...I've met people from every country...ever so nice and interesting.  No one was tacky or rude and it makes for pleasant interludes.

This week a delivery guy from Amazon rang the doorbell and had a very big box...wow!  I told him I wasn't Frances and he says an 'uh-oh'.  I laughingly directed him to the proper building.  He was most apologetic...very polite.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang again...same guy and he said, "Ma'am I just wanted to stop back by and thank you for your help and being so nice.  I really appreciated it."  He put a happy face on me.  A little sunshine makes for happy days, right?  Takes the edge off.

Okay, so I've rambled around and possibly made no sense in this post...chalk it up to idiocy, lunacy...whichever is suitable.  I'm improving my mental status because whatever comes, I'm full of hope and I am doing my best to always keep this in mind...
"At the end of the day, Vasca, 
 always remember the one who has been there from Day One."

It helps, it really does help.

From my heart...to yours, Vasca