FROM MICHAEL ~ CHRISTMAS WITHOUT YOU...

"I am not alone at all, I thought.

I was never alone at all.

And that, of course, is the message of Christmas.

We are never alone.

Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest,

the world seemingly most indifferent.

For this is still the time God chooses."

Taylor Caldwell

 

Christmas in Korea 1951

I am not alone at all, I thought...

Not when the wind coldest,

 

There were five of us living in this tank...most of the time.

 On Christmas day, we took front-line position...opposing the Chinese in what was called 'No Man's Land'...the buffer between enemy forces; looking at each other.

 It was so cold, it was snowing and us? We were miserable and freezing...but...along came something designed to brighten the day. A jeep w/a trailer pulled along-side the tank and told us to pull over; for what? A speeding ticket?

 Surprise, surprise!!! They were delivering a Christmas meal...I doubt we'd had breakfast...we had to get the tank in position before dark. Or...trouble ahead for us! Turkey, dressing...trimmings...a hot meal.

 Thank you, Lord. Our last hot meal for weeks to come!

 Some time later I received a package from my dad; his famous Fruit Bars...better believe they didn't last long! Wow...included in the package was a small carton of anchovies! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, DAD? (He really thought they were just small sardines! Guess what...the anchovies lasted a very long, long time!

 I was never alone.

 



Christmas in Viet Nam 1966

I was never alone, I thought not when the night is darkest. the world seemingly most indifferent. My tour in Saigon was 24/7 work, work, work...overwhelming work. Saigon port was a hustle-bustle place; fighting a war of supply and re-supply. And it was terribly hot...oh so hot. Wonderful things happened, even in Viet Nam...and we had a nice gift on Christmas Day. A small group of Americans (including me, of course) got a turkey from the U.S. Commissary; a French wife cooked it (okay, so...she had never ever seen, much less cooked a turkey). I thought it was a very small bird; she thought it was huge, didn't have a pot big enough to hold it. We celebrated the birth of Christ with candlelight, Christmas tree (w/no gifts) and turkey. I was never alone...



Christmas in Ethiopia 1970

I was never alone at all,

not even when the night is darkest.

 

Another hot Christmas...hotter than hot. Daytime temperatures were 120 degrees...nights were 98-100 degrees.

 I lived in a house beside the Red Sea...barred windows...dark nights.

 The nearest Americans lived 'straight up' in Asmara w/their families.

 My family wasn't allowed to live in Massawa due to lack of schools, medical care, etc.

And it wasn't a safe place...dark times.

 I could drive to Asmara on occasion until a member of my unit was murdered outside the city limits...after that I wasn't allowed to leave the city except by plane!

 Vasca was granted permission to come for an extended visit...if you know Vasca, you know what a pleasure that was!

 

Christmas at Home

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:
the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other."
Burton Hillis

Vasca and I look forward to a wonderful occasion...the presence of all twenty-one members of a happy Beall family...wrapped in love.

 

We've arranged a special gift for our four sons/their wives and ten grandchildren plus one. (Alan and Leslie Ann married in October so we've expanded)

 

We're spending the afternoon and night together at Inn on the Lake; dinner w/an evening of loving fun and gifts...breakfast together followed by a special, family worship time.

I've spent Christmas far away from my family, my friends...everything that was and is a most important part of my life.

 

And yet?

"I was never alone, not at all. And that, of course,
is the message of Christmas.

We are never alone.

Not when the night is darkest, the wind coldest,

the world seemingly most indifferent.

For this is still the time God chooses."

Never alone, not at all...Michael

SOMETHING BIG

 

“Kindness in words creates confidence.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.

Kindness in giving creates love.” ...Lao Tzu

You probably read or heard about the policeman who bought a homeless man a pair of shoes and some socks...the man was out in the cold w/bare feet. Shortly thereafter the same man was seen w/o shoes again; when asked what happened to them he replied he had hidden them. There's more to the story; it's creating much discussion/different viewpoints about helping those who seem in need.

Kindness is a big thing.

A friend of mine was in the checkout line behind an elderly lady who didn't have enough to pay for what she had in her basket so my friend told the cashier to go ahead...she would pay the balance. The woman tearfully hugged and thanked her; called her a Christmas Angel...sweet action.

Kindness is a very big thing.

While we were living in Wisconsin, Michael encountered a young couple who were desperate to get to Florida...seems they working in a circus! They had no money. They weren't married, she was pregnant; her family kicked her out of their home because her boyfriend was of a different race.

M put them in a motel: fed them and later on bought them tickets to Florida...took them to the bus station so they could be on their way.

Oops! Guess what? He 'bumped' into them later ~ seems they didn't leave, they cashed in their tickets and...that was the end of that. No judgments, no lectures. M wasn't in the wrong because?

Kindness is still a big thing!

I'm ordinarily careful, but I was at Lowe's one day when I 'bumped' into a concrete barricade w/our Toyota...yikes! My heart skipped a few beats so I hopped out of the car to check for damage, carefully shut the door behind me and WHAT??? The doors locked (so no one can get in, right); the cars running w/my key in the ignition...I see my bag w/cell phone, etc. parked on the seat. Aargh.

Me? Well, I'm standing outside in what is now...rain! What was I thinking...rather, why wasn't I thinking? Moot point, I did it so what now?

Spotting a guy sitting in his pick-up watching me, I casually trotted over there for something; who knows...figuring that en route! He lowered the window and grinningly said, "You locked yourself out, didn't you?" Oh yeah, you noticed, huh? He handed me his cell phone and I got M...thank you God. He was at our storage rental place and said he'd come in a while...when I told him the car was running (made a little difference) he changed to 'I'll be there in a minute"...actually took a bit longer than a minute 'cause he had to stop by our house for a car key!

I did not get in the guy's truck to wait...I stood out in the rain (although under a tree...hoping there was no lightning) 'til M arrived. He's never asked how it happened...wise, yes? That guy in the truck was nice...kind...saved my skin.

Kindness is a very big thing.

Michael, Vasca and four small boys joined the Army and off we went to Williamsburg, Virginia. We arrived on Saturday...trotted off to worship the next morning and had such a wonderful, warm reception. The nicest young couple (fairly newlyweds) invited us to come on post at Ft. Eustis that afternoon and look at their quarters. They thought we'd probably be assigned an apartment like theirs. (And we were)

That afternoon we happily rang their doorbell; Sara later told me she never thought we'd accept the invite...ha, ha! We still laugh about that.

Michael flew out a couple of days later to an unknown destination for an unknown period of time. It was during the Cuban missile crisis...trust me, Michael was gone for a very, very long time.

Welcome to the Army, Bealls!

Larry and Sara took over...they were our family then...they remain so 'til this day. Except, we're missing Larry; he died very suddenly two years ago. M & I have breakfast each morning in our combo bistro/utility room/office; we eat at a small table we bought while shopping w/Larry & Sara...last time we were w/him. We miss him so much but we remember all the kindness.

Kindness is a very big thing...yes!

Bob and Lou hooked up with us in Greece; military family. We had much in common being from the Sooner state and she and I shared a name...my middle name is Lou.

Bob suffered several heart attacks and was discharged from the military but a couple of years later we ran into them again. Saw one of their kids on the street in Lawton one day and tracked them down. Lou developed cancer while in nursing school there.

Michael was whisked off to Ethiopia so the four boys and I stayed in Lawton that year...Bob and Lou took care of us. Bob had his hands full; I had two emergency surgeries and Bob took me to the hospital while Lou was also in the hospital. The nurses discovered he had 'two wives'...lots of laughter there.

Lou died a year later...during that year she forced her daughter and I to take her to the movies...she had to see "Love Story"...you can imagine how that affected us. Her last request to me was to bring her a dish of her favorite Greek food, Moussaka. So? Ha, I baked it and delivered it to her hospital room (trying desperately to disguise the very strong aroma)...she smiled and took a few bites; she loved it anyway. So many memories...so much kindness.

Kindness is and for always a very, very big thing...yes, oh yes!

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch

a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,

an honest compliment,

or the smallest act of caring,

all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Leo Buscaglia

From my heart...to yours

HOLDING ON

"It's not so much that we're afraid of change

or so in love with the old ways,

but it's that place in between that we fear....

It's like being between trapezes.

It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer.

There's nothing to hold on to."

Marilyn Ferguson

Peanuts has always been one of my favorites; so last week M and I watched Lucy use Linus' blanket for a kite and then??? Aargh...she 'accidentally' let it go and up, up and away it went...Linus went bonkers! Lucy was trying her best to make him cut his reliance on his security blanket. It didn't work...no way!

 

 

Why does Lucy care whether or not Linus has a blanket that he can't or won't part with? 'Cause she thinks it's silly...thinks it's time for him to grow up? Who knows...Charles Schulz? Granted, perhaps there comes a time when it's wise to 'give up' some of our more obvious security blankets...after all, one might look a tad 'odd' dragging their blankie behind when walking down the aisle!

 

My sister sucked her thumb and curled a bit of her hair...no amount of bribery could dissuade her...until she outgrew the habit. I bit my fingernails...and who knows what else! Habits or securities? Not a clue!

 

Last week one of the employees at the grocery store told me he never smoked until he retired from his full-time job...then he was bored and not knowing what to do w/himself? He began smoking and can't quit. Something to do...something to hang onto. Security?

 

Think about that person in the book of John that had been going to the pool in hopes of being cured...thirty-eight years he'd been dragging himself there! THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS!!! Jesus asked him if he wanted to get well?  That would be a huge YES, YES.  Talk about jumpin' for joy!  No crutches for him...no more crutches!

 

The man mentioned in John had a very big problem; mine's an ant by comparison...but it's big to me!

 

This isn't meant to be a dissertation on the differences between security, habits or phobias!  Just a little 'thinking aloud' and wondering what you think and if you have any of the above.

 

 

I confess it...right here in the open for you to see! I think you realize that I have a small problem...it's dubbed a familial tremor. Written about it before...how my hands/arms/fingers are liable to go into action w/o notice and send missiles into the air...landing who knows where!!! Mostly, I just get blobs/spots on my clothes...oops! However, I have my security blanket...in the form of my beloved Michael.

"Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch"

 

He 'controls the switch'...I need him beside me at crucial times...so there it is. I have a 5'10" handsome man w/beautiful hair who knows how to calm my 'familial'...he loves me very much...he's my security blanket even tho' he has a very serious problem of his own.  We support each other!

 

You're thinking, 'Hmmm, what are you gonna' do if Michael isn't there once/twice or maybe the rest of your lifetime? What'cha gonna' do then, huh?'

 

Thought of that; I'll enlist friends to tend the switch...not a problem at all. Hey, that's what good friends do and they don't try to make you change!

 

So...not all of us need crutches...not all of us have phobias...not all of us need counseling...or do we?  Incidentally, there's the BEST counselor available 24/7...no appointment necessary!  You might know Him.

 

Several are stricken with the same 'problem' I have; I'm also sure there are many who are able to hide theirs...I cannot...I simply cannot.  So many sorts of insecurities...phobias...whatever they're called.

 

While I do try...I honestly do...I have not been able to overcome 'my thing'. It's not an addiction; it's a 'terror'...a very frightening, upsetting terror.

 

 

What about you...do you have something fearful hanging around in your psyche...do you?  If so, are you able to do more about yours?  I hope so, I honestly hope so! 

 

 

Charles Schulz wrote such marvelous things in 'Peanuts'...so much like what goes on in our lives. Those characters delivered some awesome messages for us...I wish he was still around.

 

Guess I'll have this 'tremor' thing the rest of my life...but hey, I could just as easily have something much worse. Who knows? I could be the queen of cool, calm and collected 24/7 and never get over-anxious about a single thing...me? Well, not...but here's the message.

 

If Linus wants to have that blanket...that's okay…he’s happy!

 

 

"I urge you to please notice when you are happy,

and exclaim or murmur or think at some point,

'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is."

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

 

I have my 'blanket'...and...I'm happy, ever so happy and I'm thinking 'if this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'

 

How 'bout you? 

 

From my heart...to yours