LONG TIME COMING...

    “And when you're alone there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.”
Dr. Seuss

Scary things down the road?  You betcha'...lots of things.  I don't need to look down the road to be scared!  I get shaky enough w/day to day 'stuff'...you probably get the picture!  I've admitted many times that I'm a 'chicken little'.  Panic attacks coupled w/tremors don't mix well...not at all.  I've shaken enough in my lifetime to wiggle the seismic scale a little...my internal scale that is.  Oops and Ouch! 

Here's the crux of the matter though...I never believed in myself...not at all.  I was someone who had no self-assurance, no courage, nothing in the way of strength. 

Somewhere along the road...(hey, I could even call myself a 'roadie') I picked up my first class insecurity blanket.   My dad was an oilfield man so we were constantly on the move...and I sort of got lost.  That doesn't bother everyone but it got to me;  somehow I needed something to 'hold me up'.  Not that my parents didn't...they were wonderful; it was all inside me!  A gigantic knot that I thought would never, ever go away...oh my!  Sad case, right? 

Dr. Seuss...I met some things that really did terrify me!  I've shared a few with those now close to me but there are a couple of things I've never shared w/anyone and only God knows about them!

I was a scared little girl...teenager...young woman.  I so envied those with circles of friends...more than anything, I wanted that, I wanted someone to share stuff with...someone to confide in...oh me, somehow I was out of touch with reality.

What's reality anyway?  Well, M has taught me that to ignore reality is a form of temporary insanity!  Reality is...there are lots and lots of other terrified people out there and many of them are the very ones I envied w/their circles and perfections.  I wasn't and I'm not the only one, right?

Well, some anonymous person wrote or said, "Believe it is possible to solve your problem.  Tremendous things happen to the believer."  Oh wow!  I'm a believer now but my word...why in the world did it take the majority of my lifetime to get rid of my insecurity blanket? 

Michael, my love, has helped me 'grow up'...he's helped me believe in myself...I smile all over simply thinking of what he's done for me...done with me!  Hmm, I smile even more thinking that he's not alone; M has always believed in himself (he's smart and recognizes his limitations) because ..you see...he's God's man all the way.  God had a plan for the two of us and HE's in the process of molding us...the Spirit is alive and active in us...thankfully I'm allowing Him to work in me and I am deliriously happy...I believe.

You got problems?  Oh, you have just one...wow, you're miraculously blest.  Guess you're unique...you know, one in-a-million calm and trouble-free 24/7 individuals...who's to know, huh?

Sure not me 'cause I was born w/lots of problems...but now I get it that better me than anyone else 'cause I can cope and handle them better than someone else...I do...I believe I do!

One way I'm able to 'sort of handle' some of my troubles...is sharing.  A circle of friends isn't absolutely necessary 'cause God is always there and He never puts me off...but there's much written and spoken about sharing our burdens with others.  Just someone who cares enough to be patient w/me, to listen, maybe even to cry with...it makes a world of difference. 

Just think, my problems could possibly help someone with theirs or theirs could help me...
never know 'til we try, right?  Life might get a little better and we won't be afraid to go on...you think?

From my heart...to yours!