LOVE AND MARRIAGE...

"Let us make one point,

that we meet each other with a smile,
when it is difficult to smile.
Smile at each other,
make time for each other in your family."
Mother Teresa  

Smiling comes naturally for me; I usually smile at everyone I see/meet...just comes naturally.  Even in foreign countries I couldn't contain myself...never has gotten me in trouble, thank goodness!  For others though (like Andrew), 'life is hard and not always fair' and it's somewhat difficult to smile. 

Hello!

I am Andrew Beall...and I want to tell you something of my relationship with Michael & Vasca that began in 2002.  This is a picture of me these ten years ago when I was 21...my looks have not changed much but I have matured.

 

I first saw and met this couple in the office of the University of International Economics president...Peter.  The five Americans had come to review and sign their contracts and receive their foreign expert documents.  I was a Senior in the school and Michael and Vasca would teach there.  The other three would teach in the heart of the city of Changsha.

 

My English is very good so I was chosen to be the escort and advisor for day-to-day activities; you know like shopping and getting around in China which for foreigners was quite difficult. 

 

Now, here's Vasca to pick up the threads of my story...my life will change as you read on.

                                                                                                                                                              We called Andrew our Mister Everything...he cared for us until his graduation in December when he surprised us by announcing his move to Shenzhen to conquer the world.  Ha, M and I read about Shenzhen and it was called something like the Devil's playground...and our Andrew was moving there?  Aargh, Andrew.

 

We ate together, shopped, walked and talked together...quite wonderful.  Plus, Michael had been studying with him the short time we were together and gave him a Bible...each time he left our apartment w/o the Bible...this was repeated a number of times.  For awhile we thought perhaps he was a Communist plant but later changed our thinking.  Finally...he took 'the book' with him...he and 'the book' moved to Shenzhen.

At that time it was extremely difficult for people like Andrew...fresh out of college, to find work; too many people, too few jobs.  Some of my students worked as dishwashers in restaurants...Andrew suffered 'til he ran out of funds and a dark future...what to do?

He called Michael...and God stepped in.  M searched around and discovered there was a young minister visiting Shenzhen and friends would help Andrew.  They contacted him, gave his a room in a building they rented, fed him and developed a connection...worked to teach him more about Our Father and Andrew became His child.  And...he found a job.  Thank you, Father.





Jobs come and go in China just as they do in the U.S.  You know how that is, right?  Of course!  Michael & I re-located to Qingdao and Andrew changed jobs in Shenzhen...many times.  But he called us monthly just to talk awhile...he never has asked for or wanted anything; just showed his love!

 

We returned home to Texas and he continued calling and when we would make visits to Qingdao he would arrange to come there and spend some days with us.

 

Aah, then Andrew found a partner, Sunny, and they married.  She had a very good job which she still has and they have a handsome little son, Thomas.  You may or may not recall a blog post about them; Sunny became pregnant and in their particular position the government would not allow them to have but one child.  Andrew was sick at heart because he knew, he knew that having an abortion was against his 'beliefs'.  He asked us for advice; try that on for size! 

 

Fast forward to now...Sunny is living in Shenzhen, Andrew is living in Beijing and Thomas is living with one set of his grandparent's...her parents in yet another city and no one is close to the other.  Andrew was without a job for four months...he never told us that.  Just recently he was hired by a firm in Beijing which he seems to like but...lots of buts!  He's very smart...ranks high but sometimes it doesn't matter what you are as much as who you are...I think you get the picture.

 

He is away from Sunny; he is away from Thomas.

Sunny is away from Andrew; Sunny is away from Thomas.

Thomas is away from Daddy; Thomas is away from Mommy.

 

In China, this is a way of life for more than many Chinese couples...not ordinarily our way...in a way!

 

I feel extremely blest to have been raised in a loving environment; Michael is the same.  Most families that we know, live together as a unit...mother, father and children.  There are many single parents...different circumstances.  One or both parents usually have jobs and manage keeping a family together...of course, the children grow up and eventually most begin lives of their own...the circle continues.  We are truly blest, aren't we? 

 

"Your problem is to bridge the gap which exists between

where you are now and the goal you intend to reach."

Earl Nightingale 

 

Andrew still calls and has 'heart to hearts' with Michael.  We exchange  e-mails and pictures.  He is not a complainer but if you're clever (now who would that be) reading between the lines and words?  We get a sad picture.

 

The big national holiday just passed and Andrew's sister, her husband and their son came to Beijing to visit Andrew.  They visited the Great Wall, Tiannamen Square and the Ming Tombs...beautiful sites. 

 

But...but...he wasn't with Thomas or Sunny.  Trust me, he misses that and it breaks his heart...he is a wonderful father...but he has to have a job.  Some bright spots are:  Andrew is an excellent cook...love his cooking...then there is a beautiful small park near him...he describes it a 'his personal gymnasium' and it's free. 

 

There is a church somewhere that he will need to locate; hopefully it isn't too far away.  You know, we have the privilege of being with other Christians at any time; in China it isn't easy and for a baby Christian it takes some real doing to grow.  You and I are blest.

 

I've mentioned before, love in China is different than our type of love.  Chinese are not expressive with it...most of my students had never heard "I love you" from their parents.  Perhaps they expressed it in other ways...I don't know.  They envied the two of us and said they wanted what we had in each other...they envied our relationship with our family.

 

A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.
Buddha

 

Something else I don't know (okay, there are lots and lots of things I don't know); I've asked about this and as yet have no explanation.  How do you determine which set of grandparents is allowed to 'raise' the child?  By the way, the adult children (like Ken/Debbie and Andrew/Sunny) are 100% expected to support their parents.

 

Curious about the name 'Andrew Beall'...well, the first e-mail we received from Andrew after he left the university was signed 'Andrew Beall'...he's been a Beall ever since.  In many ways, he is our child...and he is totally loved.

 

Life can be hard...wherever one lives but a good thing to remember in any language is:

 

"Whatever happens, I will keep going and please Lord, just don't let me run out of gas."

 

As always, from my heart...to yours

Vasca