LIFE 101...

I always thought I was truly brave...I've weathered some crisis that almost did me in...oh yes, I was brave.  It helps that I have a very high tolerance for pain.  I've never forgotten the one 'near death experience' I experienced.  Okay, there are those who pass such things off as nonsensical but you should believe me when I say those things really exist.

I didn't speak about mine to anyone for several years; I suppose I feared being laughed at (ah, that bugaboo that so many of us have)...fear of being laughed at.  Well, I got over it...along with some other things that once plagued me...poor insecure me.

Some of you know, some of you don't but I was addicted to prescription drugs for thirteen long years!  Me?  Yeah, me.  It would be great to say I became addicted due to the pain I lived with but there were more causes than that...I had a weakness in my life...my fault.

With God's help...along with the men in my life...all five of them, I was able to overcome the death trap I had gotten myself into.  I so regret wasting those years and the pain I caused others but the experience has been a great help...I've been able to share my story with others and contribute/receive help along the way. 

One thing has stuck with me about sharing...we moved to a new community and I was cautioned about telling the addiction thing to people there because they might not understand...more like they would label me and misunderstand.

I didn't take that advice...I shared and I continue to share.  By no means does that imply I trumpet my experience whenever and wherever to whomever.  I'm sharp enough to know the differences.

My point is this; I am sincere; John Wayne puts it so well:

I suppose my best attribute, if you want to call it that, 

is sincerity. I can sell sincerity because that's the way I am.

I write the way I do because...I am sincere...I am transparent.
My husband, my precious love, has Amyloidosis and Parkinson's...quite a combo!  Someone asked 'what does a good day with Parkinson's look like to you'?  For us it is just a day of clear eyes, fairly good recall, a loving smile and some laughter sprinkled with love...lots and lots of love.  That's what I'd call a good day w/Parkinson's.

Hey, we're in great shape and you know what?  It could be so very much worse...we have friends out there who are suffering so much pain and anguish with no hope.  We have some hope remaining...we continue doing the best we can each wake up!
 

I never found the classroom for Life 101...never found it.  You couldn't find it because there wasn't one, Vasca.  I experienced the fire and the hard knocks...one by one...they added up to plenty.  For me, the good news is, I have survived...and I'm still surviving. 

We have a beautiful plaque hanging in our main bath...never fail to see and read it...

"Come, grow old with me; the best is yet to be."  One of our wonderful older friends saw it when he visited us several years ago.  He looked me in the eye and asked "How do you know that"?  He was such a wise man that I didn't know how to answer him...took me by surprise.  I finally replied that I just knew it because I'd always heard that said about aging. That was Virgil Bentley who was so much wiser than I'll ever be...he had experience! 

It seems, in many instances, the best is rather rocky.  Of course as one ages the body seems to become somewhat 'disjointed' so to speak.  The parts begin wearing, gyrating (wow, they can be downright obstinate); this wonderful bod can't always perform as one would like or demand.  Demanding doesn't seem to work very often, does it? 

I don't demand, I beg...and plead...and cry; when my loved one seems to come apart at the seams that breaks my heart and I can hardly bear it.  So begins more pleading and begging and crying.  Then, as I collapse,  God shines His light and wonders begin taking place; hope is alive and well.  It never was gone it just took a little more time than I had anticipated.  When you tell God you haven't a clue what to do...when you are helpless and you give it to Him...He moves.  And His move stirs something in the heart that gives it a jump start...it revs the valves...excitement goes into action...and what happens?  I wake up to the fact that God is at work, in charge and He is taking care of my concerns, my loved one.  

I wrote a bit earlier in this post that I never found the classroom for Life 101; actually I have found it and it was right there under my nose...God's book...Life 101...a perfect blueprint for life w/all the ups and downs...anything you need...it's all there for the looking.
At times I admit I almost lose it...actually I totally lose it.  But, as always, God steps in and I get it back...with hope added.  We're not getting old, we are old.  But hey, a checker Raphael, in Trader's Joe, told me he was 66 and I said I was 86...he was like shocked.  Who cares if he was serious or not?  Not me...he was just very sweet and nice...stuff like that makes a day!  
I'm gonna' do my best to make every day wonderful for me, for my sweet M, for every person I come in contact with...each day is going to be bright no matter what happens and like Forest Gump said about his box of chocolates "you never know what you're gonna' get" and it really doesn't matter...I'm gonna' make the best of it...I'm gonna' think "You Go Girl"...with an added "You Go Girl with God"...I'm in His care and I cannot go wrong now, can I?
From my heart...to yours,
Vasca