Picture Courtesy of Charles Schulz 'Peanuts'
"Feet on the ground,
Head to the skies,
Heart open,
Quiet mind"
Rasheed Ogunlaru
Most mornings I open my eyes in a happy mood (well, first day after the eye research study my lids sort of stick together so they don't open so happily)...but hey, they open. For some time I've been 'planning' to get out of bed, jump into my clothes, grab the walker and take an early morning spin outside before it heats up! That's a positive thing; the negative is I've not made it a happening...yet...my bad.
I did accomplish one thing on my planning list...this morning I had breakfast in The Vantage dining room; it was so great I think it's going to become an every-other-day occurrence. Their menu is mouthwatering...putting it mildly. This morning I had biscuits and sausage gravy! I'm a 'gravy-holic' and couldn't resist.
M is a focus person; on the other end of the spectrum is me and I'm like buckshot...scattering what I'm going to do ideas everywhere. But, I'm honestly trying to channel my energies in positive directions.
Like what, you ask?
I'm practicing happiness, smiling and being nice no matter what. If I'm not careful I'll let my emotions get out of hand and drag me down more than a bit; that's not a good thing, is it? So, I sort of turned over a new leaf; hopefully I'll stick with it.
Like what, you ask?
I'm practicing happiness, smiling and being nice no matter what. If I'm not careful I'll let my emotions get out of hand and drag me down more than a bit; that's not a good thing, is it? So, I sort of turned over a new leaf; hopefully I'll stick with it.
These past couple of weeks I've had lab work done, my left eye has been studied and treated; topping it off I've seen two of my doctors for check-ups! Free for six months! Yay!
After my lab work I left the building to wait for my ride...it was fairly cool w/a nice breeze so I parked myself on my walker and 'people watched'. It was wonderful...shady and it felt good with the breeze ruffling my hair. Lots of activity so I decided I'd speak to and smile at each person who entered and exited the building. It was sort of like rush hour traffic w/o breaks and I totally enjoyed myself.
The response was interesting...one young man pulled up in front and assisted an older lady out of the car and up to the door. When he had her safely in I asked if he was a Uber driver; he laughed and said he wasn't...he was just helping his mother-in-law. We talked a tad...I told him what a nice son-in-law he was and he thanked me and told me to have a good day.
There were men and women of all types; in and out....almost everyone smiled and made pleasant comments. It amounted to a nice break for me; I hope it was for others!
About this time, you may be thinking I've had too much sugar...I'm just having a good time and trying to lift spirits...mine as well as anyone I happen to come in contact with. Beware?
There are so many people around who are hurting; one way or another and you and I don't realize it. Now when I see someone who looks miserable...I think they probably are and there's nothing I can do about it but just have a pleasant look for them.
The one person I would give anything to make happy is my sweet love, Michael. I've worked so hard these past few years to 'make Michael happy'...guess what? I've realized that I cannot make him happy...that's something that lies inside him...he has the key to his happiness.
The mind is such a mystery; I'm convinced only God understands the human mind. It is so complex it's frightening to a person like me. I am not intelligent enough to fathom how it works. I'm thankful for what I have inside my head and I pray God will help me keep it safe. Because...I need all my rationale, my wits, my memory...I need to be here for Michael whether he likes it or not; or whether I like it or not...I'm here.
He doesn't understand what's going on within his body, his mind...and I'm not so up on it myself. We whisper much of the time; he thinks people are spying on himand he's convinced they hear us through the walls; he imagines a big conspiracy theory and there is no way to assure him it's delusional. Who cares what it is...it's just there. And it's frightful...I have no way to imagine some of the terror that must take place in his mind; he is scared. How can he be happy with such things in his mind, day in and day out?
You know what it does? It breaks my heart...absolutely tears me apart and I am helpless.
Richard Gere said "Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many."
Virgil Bentley asked me in 2001 about the plaque I had on our wall, "Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be." He said, 'Vasca, how do you know that? The best is yet to be.' I actually could only reply that I just believed that...I just believed that would be the way it was meant to be. Oh my, not so good.
You know, most everything I write in my blog these days is about M and I, our new normal life. Well, that's what my life is all about. Is this the best? I'm happy to be growing older...like the quote above...it's a privilege denied to many. I totally get that. I just thought we'd grow older w/o Parkinson's and the way it destroys people. I'll admit to screaming at times "God, why us? Why did this have to happen to Michael?" It just did...just like it happens to countless others...it just happens. Is one person more fit to stand the trials? All I know is how I stand it.
I am truly working to get this into my psyche...a day at a time...just take this day, Vasca. I repeat to myself "Don't worry about tomorrow, God is already there." I know, I know. Okay...my head is on my pillow...I'm talking to God and telling Him that I'm trying. I start to say I'm trying my best but really? I'm not trying my best; it's more half-hearted.
And I vow to try harder; give it more of what I have.
I'm not in control of Michael; he is in good hands where he should be safe and cared for in a way that I can no longer provide. This is saving me; it's saving Michael. I pray that you are able to weather whatever storms are in your lives. I'm learning slowly, but I am learning...that with God's help I can handle today and give Him the rest of whatever waits in the wings.
My feet are on the ground,
My head is to the skies,
My heart is open.
And I have a quiet mind.
Dear God, please calm Michael's frightened heart. Thank You!
From my smiling, happy heart...to yours! Vasca
About this time, you may be thinking I've had too much sugar...I'm just having a good time and trying to lift spirits...mine as well as anyone I happen to come in contact with. Beware?
There are so many people around who are hurting; one way or another and you and I don't realize it. Now when I see someone who looks miserable...I think they probably are and there's nothing I can do about it but just have a pleasant look for them.
The one person I would give anything to make happy is my sweet love, Michael. I've worked so hard these past few years to 'make Michael happy'...guess what? I've realized that I cannot make him happy...that's something that lies inside him...he has the key to his happiness.
The mind is such a mystery; I'm convinced only God understands the human mind. It is so complex it's frightening to a person like me. I am not intelligent enough to fathom how it works. I'm thankful for what I have inside my head and I pray God will help me keep it safe. Because...I need all my rationale, my wits, my memory...I need to be here for Michael whether he likes it or not; or whether I like it or not...I'm here.
He doesn't understand what's going on within his body, his mind...and I'm not so up on it myself. We whisper much of the time; he thinks people are spying on himand he's convinced they hear us through the walls; he imagines a big conspiracy theory and there is no way to assure him it's delusional. Who cares what it is...it's just there. And it's frightful...I have no way to imagine some of the terror that must take place in his mind; he is scared. How can he be happy with such things in his mind, day in and day out?
You know what it does? It breaks my heart...absolutely tears me apart and I am helpless.
Richard Gere said "Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once. Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many."
Virgil Bentley asked me in 2001 about the plaque I had on our wall, "Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be." He said, 'Vasca, how do you know that? The best is yet to be.' I actually could only reply that I just believed that...I just believed that would be the way it was meant to be. Oh my, not so good.
You know, most everything I write in my blog these days is about M and I, our new normal life. Well, that's what my life is all about. Is this the best? I'm happy to be growing older...like the quote above...it's a privilege denied to many. I totally get that. I just thought we'd grow older w/o Parkinson's and the way it destroys people. I'll admit to screaming at times "God, why us? Why did this have to happen to Michael?" It just did...just like it happens to countless others...it just happens. Is one person more fit to stand the trials? All I know is how I stand it.
I am truly working to get this into my psyche...a day at a time...just take this day, Vasca. I repeat to myself "Don't worry about tomorrow, God is already there." I know, I know. Okay...my head is on my pillow...I'm talking to God and telling Him that I'm trying. I start to say I'm trying my best but really? I'm not trying my best; it's more half-hearted.
I'm not in control of Michael; he is in good hands where he should be safe and cared for in a way that I can no longer provide. This is saving me; it's saving Michael. I pray that you are able to weather whatever storms are in your lives. I'm learning slowly, but I am learning...that with God's help I can handle today and give Him the rest of whatever waits in the wings.
My feet are on the ground,
My head is to the skies,
My heart is open.
And I have a quiet mind.
Dear God, please calm Michael's frightened heart. Thank You!
From my smiling, happy heart...to yours! Vasca
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
ReplyDeleteRomans 8:31-39 NIV
http://bible.com/111/rom.8.31-39.niv
Thank you, beautiful Georgia.
ReplyDelete