BLINK...BLINK...

I was thinking about how much I blink my eyes; I suppose it's because I have this research eye study once each month and it always causes lots of blinking.  I blink, blink, blink...also at night I do lots of blinking.  That leads to rolling out of bed for eye drops to calm it a bit.  When I have the shots each month it takes a couple of days to get what I call 'the sand' out of my eyes and they feel normal again.  The sandy feeling comes from the beta-dine that is used prior to the injections and it is rather uncomfortable.  Truth?  It burns and is horrible.  That's okay, it's all for good and perhaps might save someone's eyesight.  I'm in for the long haul. 

That led to writing this post...all this eye blinking business.  

I'm thinking about what can take place in what I might describe as the blink of an eye.  Scientific study reports that one blink lasts about a tenth of a second and an average person can blink over 20,000 times per day.  That is a lot of blinking. 

What can take place in the blink of an eye?  You might read about accidents described as happening that quickly.  Think of what can happen if you divert your eyes while driving.  Or if you're watching your children and take your eyes off of them for a blinking session? 

I've thought so much about what happens so quickly.  It hit home last week while visiting Michael. 

A couple of months ago I encountered a most lovely woman in M's building...dressed as if she stepped out of a magazine and she sauntered down the hallway oozing confidence while whistling a happy tune.  I saw her several more times that week.  I thought she was visiting a resident.  She sneaked into the elevator with me and was making a break for it.  She was the resident.  My bad. 

Visiting M last week I shared an elevator with an aide, pushing a desolate looking woman.  I asked the aide the ladies name and I was stunned learning it was that same beautiful, confident lady.  Oh my, she was transformed and I had no clue who she was...it was the whistler.

It's difficult to comprehend the quick changes in someone.  It's taking place in my own life with Michael.  It doesn't seem so quickly to me as perhaps it might to someone who isn't so familiar with him.  I am surprised that I've adapted as well as I have to his changes.  I no longer am impatient with him, I've learned to sit quietly and listen...even though I can't distinguish his words.  He looks the same: it's his mind that's changing. 

Each time the phone shows a call from M's floor my heart jumps into my throat.  I've tried so much to give my concerns to God but I'm not there yet.  What would I do without the love of my life?  Well, he's changing in front of me and I cannot do a thing about it.  I adapt and practice being flexible...even 'tho I'm becoming more stiff by the year...discovered that comes w/aging...who knew? 

Garrison Keillor said "I believe there's nothing like looking reality straight in the eye and denying it."   I so disagree with him because...my most wise Michael always reminded me,"Vasca, to ignore reality is a temporary form of insanity".  

Presently, one of the major realities in my life is my husband is slowly dying in front of my blinking eyes and I am not in control.  I need to work on that...indeed I do.  So?

There's no denying the reality of what's happening.  I'm doing what I can to remain sane and focused on walking graciously, being the woman that God wants me to be.  I am happy and passing that on to others as best I can.  Is it helping...is it working?  Yes it is,  it's working very well and as God always does...He amazes me every day and makes life better.

One might think no one is watching them...think again.  There are 'people watchers' all around and they pick up pieces here and there.  They gradually put those pieces together and maybe they think, "hey, they must have something that keeps them going.  I wonder what it is?"  If they see enough it will have an effect on their lives...who is to know except God. 

Aaron Neville penned this:

"Every day some act of kindness comes my way,

even if it's just someone opening the door.  

It happens every day if you keep an eye out for it.  

Keeping an eye out, that's the key."

Whatever it takes to get the sand out of your eyes, do it.  When my eyes are all gritty and full of it I can't focus on anything but getting that out of my eyes...now, right now.  It's an irritant, first class.  After the clearing I can see well, I can concentrate on what's important.  

I am walking in the light and maybe, just maybe someone will catch some of the rays and feel better about their life.  In turn, they can help someone else...all in the blink of an eye.  Maybe someone who doesn't appear to understand anything whatsoever will get some loving rays.  It's okay to go ahead and blink...you gotta' blink; that's quick and you are still able to keep your eye out for opportunities.  That's the key.       

Pretty cool, you think?  

From my happy heart...to yours, Vasca