GOTTA' DO IT...

"You've got to get up every morning 

With a smile on your face,

And show the world all the love in your heart.

Then people gonna' treat you better, 

You're gonna' find, yes you will.

That you're beautiful as you feel."

Carole King's Beautiful 

I usually wake up with a smile on my face; that's my nature.  Smiling seems to be in my DNA...and that's a good thing...at least, I think so.  Good way to begin the day.

It would be marvelous if that feeling could last all day...or perhaps I should say if it would last the day.  Surprises pop up, right and left...first thing I know I've lost that happy feeling; my bad.

When I was a little girl, I so believed in wishes...that if I wished long and hard enough the wishes would come true.  Oh my!  I wizened up and realized prayer was the avenue I should be using.  Now I pray constantly...for ever so many things...but Michael is in the top spot.

Back to waking up w/a smile on my face...much too often these days the smile disappears being replaced by a frown...a not so soft tone...finishing touches are tears.

F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote: "The loneliest moment in someone's life is when they're watching their whole world fall apart and all they can do is stare blankly."

In a nutshell that's what transpires with many of my 'well intended wake-ups'...even tho' I determine each day to practice what I feel strongly about...love!  

I go over and over the love verses in the Book..and I believe every word but reality rears its' ugly head and like Fitzgerald said, "all I can do is stare blankly".   Guess what?  That gets me absolutely nowhere!  In my little mind I think my beautiful world is falling apart as I watch...and feel totally helpless.

What does one do in that circumstance?  Well, I'm learning what not to do...better yet, I'm picking up pointers on what to do...this falling apart business has got to cease and desist.  

This morning on Pandora the first music I heard was Blessed Assurance...how good was that...just what He ordered.  

Michael and I have made it to the latter part of our 80's...lots and lots of people don't make it nearly so far.  We are blest.

We have an awesome family; there are now 23 of us with more in the wings.  

We are financially able to care for ourselves and still live independently.

We have a safe haven...we have anything we want or need at our fingertips.

We have a multitude of loving friends; all around us.

We have good medical care; wonderful physicians.

Best and greatest is we have a Father; God has us in His arms and loves us.

So, I really have nothing to fear or dread; what I do have is a burning desire to do all I can to ensure that my loving partner has a comfortable, happy life.  Even though Parkinson's is trying to take over...I have a major role to play in this.

"When things fall apart, 

the broken pieces allow all sorts of things to enter

 and one of them is the presence of God."

                                                                Shauna Niequist 

I ask myself this...'Vasca, why do you fall apart and allow yourself to feel so broken?  Don't you know that God is in control of your life?  You tell people that you've turned your life over to Him but you must not be serious because look at you...just take a good, hard look at your heart.  God is in...He is in this with you...for keeps.'  

God is looking at me and knowing what I am going to do in these days before me.  I wish I knew but I pray that I can get up every morning with a smile on my face and show Michael all the love I have in my heart...and even though my heart feels like stopping, I've got to gear up and show him how beautiful our love is, how beautiful our life is and that's all because of the presence of God, our Father.

Michael deserves my best...my very best and trust me, love...I'm gonna' smile and show you the love I have.  You're gonna' love it, yes you will.  'Cause it's beautiful. 

From my heart...to yours, as always...

Vasca