GO...GO...

Friday, February 16, 2018

GO-GO..........

"I keep going because if you stop, you stop.  Why retire?  Inspire"

Mickey Rooney

A few short weeks ago we began a new year...2018...and here we are mid-February.

Two of our sons and Michael have celebrated birthdays!  How quickly time has flown and oh my, how life has changed for Michael and me.

M's Parkinson's took on some new tactics that caused us to make hard decisions.  Not so much on his part as on mine...so we are now living separately.  He is in Memory Care and I am in the building adjacent to his in an independent living apartment.

I find myself 'living alone' for the first time in my life.  Oh sure, I was w/o his presence during a few year-long assignments but he was 'always coming home.'  Now?  He won't be coming home...I go visit him as do our sons and their families.

I shared a bedroom all my life...now I have a bedroom...all to myself.  Life has changed. 

I'm now 100% responsible for everything...in charge.  Certainly not what I envisioned a few years ago.

It's important that I stay strong, wise.  Me?  Oh yes, Vasca, you my dear.  No breakdown allowed.

I am determined, I am inspired to rev up several notches and present my love all the happiness I possibly can...he's deserving of everything I can give.

I like what Albert Einstein said:

"The ideals which have lighted my way,

and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, 

have been kindness, beauty and truth."

I loved our military life.  M took me around the world; our sons were privileged to experience other cultures, historical places that taught them to respect the past.  Of course it had its ups and downs but it was magnificent just the same.

There's this movie "We Were Soldiers" about the first major battle between American troops and North Vietnamese.  Lt. Col. Hal Moore led more than 500 troops into a valley, La Drang, where they were ambushed by the enemy.  I've watched this movie probably six time and I'll watch it again...it touches, it moves me.  Moore's troops took terrific casualties as did the enemy; it's a bloody movie...in a bloody war.  This major battle took place November 14-18, 1965.

That was the same month and year that my M received order for Viet Nam...we knew nothing about that place at that time and yet that's where he was ordered to report by February 1966.  We had one month to get home to the U.S.  We sold all our furniture and household goods.  So boys, clothes, M and me flew home to Odessa, Texas where the boys and I would live the year while M was away.

Prior to our departure from Greece we attended a party at the Royal Tennis Club of Athens.  King Constantine was there; he discovered M was ordered to Nam and asked to meet him.  You see, M was the first military person in Greece to be ordered to Nam; all this war stuff was new!

I delivered M to the Midland/Odessa airport and couldn't bear to see him off; I drove, he rode...there was no talk.  When we got there neither of us could do it so he just got out of the car w/his bag and walked away, alone...I drove away, alone.

A few morning later my mother called me early.  "Vasca, have you seen the news?"  Of course I hadn't...I had four little sons to send to school.  Why?  "I just saw where one of the hotels in Saigon was blown up.  Do you know which hotel Michael is billeted in?"  No, mother...I haven't received a letter from him yet  A few days later he wrote the hotel next to his was blown up.

It took courage to carry me through the days and nights...when I was in the dark.  I had four sons to protect and keep going.  I did not want or intend them to be afraid.  Those little men were brave sons...so protective and caring.

M was kept safe that year; it was a wonder.  He worked day and night; around the clock against all odds.  Wish I had it in me to tell you what he accomplished...miraculous.  He was never afraid...never!

Why am I telling you this?  Things that you probably aren't interested in?  I don't know...haven't a clue except I feel the need to let it out...and to share.

All the wives who waited for word from their men...their soldiers...well, too many of them got word but not the word they wanted.  "We are sorry to inform you..."

Oh please dear God, don't let that notification come to my door...but it did and they were crushed.  Their men weren't coming home.

Today, a good friend had been so praying for her husband's liver transplant that arrived and arranged for surgery today...he died during surgery.  He won't be coming home.

My hero won't be coming home either, but I can still see him in the flesh...and while I have a breath in my body...I will go to him with happiness and love all over me.

These ideals Einstein spoke of have lighted my way...I faced death and twice God lifted and brought me safely back to life...through thick and thin I have been able to face life courageously.

I will...yes, I will continue being kind, showing beauty to all and being truthful.  This is my vow...my plan...and I know I can and will do this because:  I have no fear...I simply believe.

(Forgive me ...I was and remain moved; encouragement in the next post, okay?)

From my loving heart...to yours,

Vasca

Picture by Dennis Cox; permission to publish purchased